why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize