My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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