There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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