my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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