Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
