and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
