Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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