that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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