i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
