his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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