Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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