I must be too annoying 4 u.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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