Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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