Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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