It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
