pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
