I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
