remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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