You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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