you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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