Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
