Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
