it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
