Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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