Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
