What a fucking waste of an outfit
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
