During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
if only i could text you this smell
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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