i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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