Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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