now i know why i became what i already was.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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