Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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