Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
