She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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