New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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