You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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