do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize