Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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