dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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