Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
