dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They took my balls.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
