Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
