The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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