over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
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No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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