Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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