is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
