A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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