Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
