I don't think brook has ever known best
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
