Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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