i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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