dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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