I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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