that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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