Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
